not knowing is killing me.

you’ve never been just a boyfriend to me. you’re my soulmate. my closest and best friend. the one and only person in this shitty fucking world that i can be myself with. i can talk to you about everything. you’re my better half. because of you i’ve actually learned to like myself a bit.

and now you’re in the army and when you’re home you don’t even want to see me and it’s for the fucking worst reason ever; you miss me too much.

i don’t know what will happen next and it’s killing me. we’ve talked about how we’re both simply unable to live without each other so you’ve promised me you wouldn’t disappear from my life, but then again you’ve also told me that you don’t want to keep feeling the anxiety that comes from missing me and not being able to see me or talk to me.

what’s going to happen?

i need to know.

my future is hanging by a thread and he’s holding a pair of scissors. please don’t break me.